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Wednesday, 01 April 2009

  • iraguha steven

    Please meet Iraguha Steven from Rwanda.
     
    In trying to think of something constructive and positive to do while dealing with our loss, we came up with sponsoring a child through Compassion.
     
    I was able to search for a child with a birthday of October 20,  my due date - and this sweet face showed up.  Jordan loved that he's the same age as her. 
     
    It feels good to think about being involved in another child's life.
     

Saturday, 28 March 2009

  • thanks

    Just wanted to say a heart-felt thank you to all of you who took some time to express your care and concern.

    I hope that we are beginning to heal. Physically, I'm feeling much better, still a bit worn out since the surgery on Tuesday, but everyday is a little better.

    Curt did have to leave this morning to get back to New Jersey, and I'm taking that pretty hard. It was by far the hardest good-bye we've dealt with in awhile.

    I know that God is in control and will take care of us as we grieve and pray about what the future holds for our family. I don't know that anyone can ever be prepared for this type of loss, but we have an incredible network of support. Sadly, many friends have been through this, but the sharing of their experiences is helping us, and for that, we are grateful. God had a plan for our baby and we might not know what that plan was this side of Heaven, but I'm choosing to trust Him, knowing that someday I'll get to hold our precious child.

    I don't enjoy not being myself and wonder when I'll bounce back. My prayer is that I can be honest with this grief and healing process for Jordan, so that she will gain a true understanding that the road isn't always easy, but, God is faithful.

    Jordan had a rough time yesterday. We received a few sympathy cards and she was upset that her name wasn't included. She was crying and said, "I prayed for that baby - what about me?" She was absolutely right. She might only be 5 years old, but she knows about death and loss, and she's grieving as well. She had even asked when we would have a funeral for our baby. I tried to explain that in this type of situation, usually the family doesn't have a funeral. She said, "well, we you love someone and they die, you have a funeral to say good-bye." We are planning to plant at a tree in memory of our baby at the cemetery near my brother's grave.

    Again, thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers. We are blessed that so many people shared in our joy and excitement with this pregnancy, and we are privileged to have so many standing with us in our loss.

Monday, 23 March 2009

  • grieving

    It's 3:30 am and I just spent the evening in the ER.

    The news was not good, an ultrasound showed that our baby stopped growing at about 6 1/2 weeks and there was no cardiac activity. I didn't really hear anything else the Dr. said.

    My Mom sat with me and showed the emotion I wish I could.

    I'm trying to digest this all, sadly in front of a computer, by myself. My Husband is scrambling to get home to me, so we can figure how to tell our daughter that the little brother or sister she prayed for is in Heaven. My 3:00 am friend, the only one I can call at this hour, is in Heaven, and I think, looking after our baby.

    I am finally crying, just like my Mom said it was okay to do.

    I don't know what the next days and week will hold. But, I do know that this baby that I didn't know I wanted so much has changed us forever.

    I can not get this song out of my head,

    Hold Me Jesus
    by: Rich Mullins

    Well, sometimes my life
    Just don't make sense at all
    When the mountains look so big
    And my faith just seems so small


    So hold me Jesus, 'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
    You have been King of my glory
    Won't You be my Prince of Peace

    And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
    It's so hot inside my soul
    I swear there must be blisters on my heart

    Surrender don't come natural to me
    I'd rather fight You for something
    I don't really want
    Than to take what You give that I need
    And I've beat my head against so many walls
    Now I'm falling down, I'm falling on my knees

    And this Salvation Army band
    Is playing this hymn
    And Your grace rings out so deep
    It makes my resistance seem so thin

    You have been King of my glory
    Won't You be my Prince of Peace

Friday, 20 February 2009

  • Blessed Be Your Name

    On the way home from school yesterday, Jordan and I heard the song, 
    “Blessed Be Your Name” 
    by Matt Redman.  
    This is a song we’ve heard countless times and has brought 
    me a lot of comfort in some of my darkest times.  
    I just love that I got to have a conversation with my sweet little girl
     about the meaning of the lyrics.  And she gets it. 
     We talked about how we are in the midst of exactly what 
    this song talks about.  
    I got overwhelmed talking about the lyrics,
     
    “You give and take away
    You give and take away
    My heart will choose to say

    Lord, blessed be Your name”

     

     

    It’s so easy to be content when things are going well and are all sunshine and roses, but what about when it’s not?  What about when life is tough and a struggle?  I really appreciate the line that says, “My heart will CHOOSE to say, Lord, blessed be Your name.” 

     

    We have felt a lot of loss and some serious illnesses in our family in the past couple of years.  I really didn’t like the fact that my 5 year old had so much experience with hospitals, illness, and funerals.  But, then we find out this amazing surprise this week – a new LIFE is on it’s way.  It’s so exciting.  I truly feel blessed and humbled knowing that it’s all in God’s timing.  He gives, and He takes away – in both situations, I have felt tremendous comfort and peace.

     

     

    Blessed Be Your Name
    by Matt Redman
    - - -
    Blessed Be Your Name
    In the land that is plentiful 
    Where Your streams of abundance flow
    Blessed be Your name
     
    Blessed Be Your name
    When I'm found in the desert place
    Though I walk through the wilderness
    Blessed Be Your name
     
    Every blessing You pour out 
    I'll turn back to praise
    When the darkness closes in, Lord
    Still I will say
     
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your name
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your glorious name
     
    Blessed be Your name
    When the sun's shining down on me
    When the world's 'all as it should be'
    Blessed be Your name
     
    Blessed be Your name
    On the road marked with suffering 
    Though there's pain in the offering 
    Blessed be Your name
     
    Every blessing You pour out 
    I'll turn back to praise
    When the darkness closes in, Lord
    Still I will say
     
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your name
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your glorious name
     
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your name
    Blessed be the name of the Lord
    Blessed be Your glorious name
     
    You give and take away
    You give and take away
    My heart will choose to say

    Lord, blessed be Your name

    Currently
    What to Expect When You're Expecting: 4th Edition
    By Heidi Murkoff, Sharon Mazel
    see related

Saturday, 14 February 2009

  • Leaving a Legacy

    pic026v3
     
    This week my family laid my grandmother, Olive Edington, to rest.
     
    The thing that stands out to me most was the legacy my Gramma left.  I was impressed with the amount of people that came to the viewing's and funeral.  My Gramma made an impact on every single one of those people, whether directly or through her family and friends.  When she passed away, I had wondered how many people, outside of family, would be there to pay their respects.  I had a misconception that because my Grandma was 91, most of her friends have passed on, and there might not be too many people.  I was very wrong. 
     
    I think it says a lot about the woman my Gramma was and the family she raised, that all of her children had very close friends come to comfort them in their time of grief.  Just about all of my 16 cousin were there.  My cousin Tracy spoke of my Gramma during the service and spoke of what was important to Gramma -  family, loyalty, and love.  Those few days showed that Gramma Ollie was successful in raising her family with the virtues that were important to her, and that her children are passing those virtues on to her grandchildren, and even her great-grandchildren.
     
    It was exceptionally meaningful to see my own Mom conduct the funeral service for her mother.  I'm fairly certain that is not a common occurrence.  My Gramma planned her own funeral about three years ago (right down to the cardinals on her casket) and wanted my Mom to do the service.  I just know she knew my Mom would be able to get through it, and Gramma was right.  My Mom paid a wonderful tribute to her mom, and I just know Gramma was proud of her. 
     
    I'm so grateful for the life of my Gramma Ollie and the legacy she has left.  Here are just a few of my favorite Edington family photos
     
    CCI02102009_00018
    My Grandparents - James & Olive Edington
     
    CCI02102009_00003 CCI02102009_00008
    My Parents Wedding - 5/9/1970
    CCI02102009_00019
    a VFW baseball team gathering - my favorite photo with my Grandparents, Parents & all of my Aunts & Uncles.
     
    CCI02102009_00005
    Gramma, Grandpa, and my brother Chip.  They are all in Heaven together now.
     
    grammaolliewithscott&kelly
    When Scott and I were the ring-bearer and flower girl at my Gramma Crocker's 2nd wedding.  1981 (I think)
     
    grammaollie&brennancloseup
    Gramma Ollie with her first Crocker Great-grandchild, Brennan
     
     4 Generations
    4 Generations -
    great gramma ollie and jordan
    My Jordie Girl with her Great-Gramma Ollie

KellyMoses

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    • Name: Kelly
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    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 3/14/2005

About Me

  • I'm a 32 year old Military Wife and Mother of an amazing little girl, Jordan Christine

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